Kootenai | Kootenai Health | Issue 3, 2018

Give themspace tosucceedontheirown As hard as it may be, Dr. Alexander encourages parents to avoid being overly involved or controlling—to support their child in making decisions but not tell them exactly what to do. “Yes, kids thrive when they have a consistent schedule, but they have to be a part of that decision process,” she said. “At the end of the day, we’re helping them learn to be independent and make good decisions on their own. We should certainly be there for guidance and support, but allowing them to be more cognitively flexible and not try to be ‘perfect’ is healthier for them mentally in the long run.” Connect on an emotional level Dr. Alexander emphasizes the need to connect emotionally with your children leading up to big transitions. Providing them with several opportunities to talk and share concerns or issues they are facing will help them feel more confident. “Keep in mind that teens are harder to connect with because they are in another, bigger, transition of becoming more independent,” she said. “They may give some pushback, but it’s not against you—it’s a normal part of growth and separation. My biggest suggestion is to go for a drive or do an activity together. There’s something about the car that opens up a dialogue.” 4 5 6 7 Identify supportivepeople Purposely identifying supportive people in a child’s life will give them a sense of community and safety. With your child, identify coaches, teachers, friends, teammates or others in their school environment who have proven to be trustworthy and caring. Juggling academics and activities can feel isolating, despite being around people all the time, so knowing who your child can go to for support ahead of time alleviates that isolation. Support wellness and sleep It’s well-known that kids, especially teens, need more sleep than adults. Dr. Alexander suggests having realistic conversations about sleep schedules, eating habits and activity levels. “Collaborate with your child and let them make their needs and expectations known and work together to create habits that fit,” she said. “When parents have anxiety over their child’s well-being and how they’ll do, the child picks up on that and feels anxious as well.” KH . ORG 21