Kootenai | Kootenai Health | Issue 2, 2019

KH . ORG 15 Let the coach be the coach Dr. Trenerry believes it’s important to take a step back and enjoy watching your kids play their sport just for the sake of enjoyment, not necessarily for the results. Let the coach be the one to make the calls and instruct. “This can be a touchy subject with some parents,” Dr. Trenerry said. “Being with our athletes to admire and support them, no matter the game result, is our first role as parents. We’re used to instructing our children in so many things that it’s hard to give that up when they move into sports. Sometimes quietly letting them know that we admire their efforts can go a long way toward showing we care about them and keeping them motivated.” 3 Check in regularly Trying to have a conversation with your children can feel a lot like having a conversation with a wall. But that doesn’t mean you should give up. “Parents should continue to ask about their kids’ lives and check in regularly about school classes, sports, friends, etc.,” Dr. Trenerry said. “Be prepared for one-word answers, like ‘fine’ or ‘whatever,’ but don’t stop reaching out. One day they might have something to talk about and will need you to be there to listen.” Striking up a conversation can often be about timing. Dr. Trenerry suggests not asking about a loss or bad game right after the game or on the car ride home. He suggests giving kids some time to process. “Let the dust settle and maybe get them some food or something,” he said. “Give them some time to get their thoughts together and then chat about their experience. Together you can move past their bad game and focus on their good work moving forward.” Above all else, Dr. Trenerry reminds parents to focus on relationship-building and conversation with their kids rather than on sports performance itself. He closed his session with parents, saying, “May you and your children find joy in each other.” 4 Prime health playbook Max Trenerry, Ph.D., ABPP-Cn, is a psychologist at Mayo Clinic specializing in sports psychology and neuropsychology. You can learn more about sports psychology at Mayo Clinic by visiting sportsmedicine.mayoclinic.org . To learn more about Kootenai Clinic’s sports medicine program, visit KH.org/sportsmedicine , or to learn more about Kootenai Health’s membership in the Mayo Clinic Care Network, visit KH.org/mayo .

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